I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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