do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
