I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
