It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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