Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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