when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
