I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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