No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
