Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
