he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
handjob tips. give me some.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
