OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
