hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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