i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
