you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just found puke in my bra..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
