Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
