You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
