Me. At least after what I've been through.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
