dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
