just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
