I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
is wine microwaveable?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
