then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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