Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
