Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
