The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
