the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
