I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize