just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
