Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Best friends brother. Beat that.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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