I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
