We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Damn victory sex feels great
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
