The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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