Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Michael Bay diarrhea
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
