The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I need to stop coming to work sober
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
