Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
