Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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