why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
