Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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