smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
