Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
