So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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