he wants to bone in the snuggie
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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