I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
A+ Viking dick
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
