porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize