so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize