I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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