I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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