I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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