Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
