apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
