bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
