Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just found puke in my bra..
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
