this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
