Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
