Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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