this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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