So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
worst night to have a conscience
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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