i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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