It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
