fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
