I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
