Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
