My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
